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All of My Electronics Are Low on Power: A Psychological Horror Story by Eve

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*putting a witch hat on my head* I can't wait to learn which Mastodon polycule I'll be sorted into!

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"This book is full of words, just like every other book I've ever read. Completely derivative. Two and a half stars."

i've never googled "sapiosexuals" so i just assume they love fucking maple trees, and im cool with it

this is funny exclusively because you ABSOLUTELY do not have to give men specific instructions to do this

One time my dad broke a toilet seat and then said ‘don’t worry I have another one in my car.’ And reader, he had a spare toilet seat in the car

i've decided to finally make use of the filter function. i never wanna read this bullshit again

people on the fediverse: haha just fooling around with some doodles *posts a work of art worthy of the old masters*

:unverified: Show more

somebody: back that ass up!
me: [waddling slowly backwards] beep... beep... beep...

I'm a cat earther. The earth is actually shaped like a cat's head and orbits the sun because the sun feeds it, not because it cares or anything.

have I ever properly thanked you all for not ever doing "BRB stealing this meme" or "notice of meme acquisition" responses? thank you. thank you so, SO much.

me, at the feet of my teacher: teacher, how do I prove that I am willing to be honest and vulnerable about my limitations, and not hide in obfuscating displays of superficial sophistication?
my teacher: my dearest pupil, the first step is simple... you need only admit you're not sure what the overarching narrative to In The Aeroplane Over the Sea is about
me: [hissing intake of breath between my teeth] teacher... you ask too much

there are a few of you on here that i won't even read the full toot before i smash that boost. like i'll get 30% of the way, be like "oh fuck yeah," and then finish reading once i've boosted it . i love and trust you that much.

something, probably lyrics Show more

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No Nazis. No Fascists. No bigotry. Listen and be excellent to each other.