Pinned toot

jk rowling announces that the wizards could stop global warming but choose not to

Pinned toot

i would never delete the internet using a comically oversized magnet. i simply would not do it. how would i even pick it up

Pinned toot

friend zone. a zone filled with friends. i would love to go to there

Pinned toot

what if frankenstein's monster went to school and got a doctorate. what the fuck then

Pinned toot

COWBOY DAN, WHILE FIRING HIS RIFLE IN THE SKY: God if i have to die you will have to die!!!
GOD: Who The Hell Is That
ANGEL: that's Cowboy Dan, sir. he's a major player in the cowboy scene
GOD: What

All cis men are just different evolutionary stages of Bryce Youngquist.

I just remembered I had this likely robo-generated image I found on a spam website saved and I'm having whiplash looking at it

when i think about america i think about taco bell and then i think 🤔 hashtag WorthIt?

we need to think about the world that we're leaving young sheldon

get someone who looks at you the way h bomberguy looks at zach snyder movies

sometimes when your having trouble with something, it helps to take a deep breath, stand back for five seconds, and then hit strong punch in order to use your Psycho Crusher attack

Twitter: everyone is mad and I don't know why so I guess I'm going to be mad too
Mastodon: everyone is talking about dildos and I don't know why so I guess I'm going to talk about dildos too

I really gotta stop saying "I'm the judge, jury, and executioner, pal" to my grandma. she's a very kind woman and doesn't deserve this

there does not appear to be many gay people on this website

there's always someone with casual nemesis energy. Someone you can't manage to have a conversation with without coming off as weird. A coworker that thinks ur hobbies are wack

Show more

No Nazis. No Fascists. No bigotry. Listen and be excellent to each other.