[sobbing mathematically] @lemememeringue@deadinsi.de

Reminder to unclench your water and drink your jaw

you mistakenly click on one youtube recommended video and next thing you know you've painted your entire apartment with thermite. good luck getting the security deposit back, healyn. idiot!

me: the jury is still out on what I should have for lunch tomorrow

you: that seems like a lot of overhead for a lunch decision making process

me: honey, I'm home

honey: [does not speak, for it is honey]

Siblings have such a weird combination of genuine support and idle antagonism like yeah you're my best friend and I love you but also I'm going to annoy you as often as possible

For every fave, boost, or reply to this post, my computer will play boop.mp3 and I will get a push notification.

sir do I have permission do go beastmode on this spreadsheet

Having a sibling that's almost the same age as you is a very specific Thing because you grew up together and therefore know absolutely god damn everything about each other

(R, G, B): (0.677, 0.160, 0.409)
Polish type: metallic
Percent full: 43.7

Some of you didn’t have to explain to your friends what nightcore was and it shows

me, 10 years ago: i love the techology. give me the new technology. the absolutely NEWEST technology. them new gadgets

me, now: i have the gadgets. i have found them. i have them now. they work and they're fine. i've finally solved the problem of the gadgets. because now i have the gadgets and here they are. i want to keep these now, forever, because the problem is solved, so i can just keep using them forever. please let me just use these things. no stop changing everything. for fucks sake

Biscay #152F60
Viking #56D1E3

(Contrast ratio: 7.2:1 | AAA)

Food stamps ran out and I need to pay for my storage unit. Even a dollar helps. Thanks!

https://cash.me/$ThumpyPuppy

based on a true story

"No one has ever dared rob a BURGLAR ALARM factory before!"

I am:
⚪ an man
⚪ an woman
🔘 an Ubuntu user
Looking for:
⚪ an man
⚪ an woman
🔘 neat space wallpapers

Stretch.

You know what would be a useful feature? If you could follow a thread, in two ways:

1. I don't follow this person, but every time they post in this specific thread, show it to me in my timeline.

2. I do or do not follow this person, but every time they post in this thread let me know in a way I can't miss it (email, highlighted in timeline, top of timeline, or something)

A thread is like a blogpost that might be posted over the span of days. I might want to read it all.

#Mastodon #Florence

sweet fameuse apples, painted by royal charles steadman, 1927