ACAB 

I know a lot of y'all don't live in the States but I really want you to understand how held captive we are. Every day there are reminders that murderous lunatics are in charge. This is how you handle venomous snakes. Our police are given guns, propaganda TV shows, millions and millions of dollars, the most powerful union in the country, and pretty much blanket immunity from prosecution, and we have to avoid startling them so they won't murder people. This is our reality. This reality is much, much worse for Black people, especially Black queer and trans people. I cannot even fathom the every day radiation of fear they experience, all the while being treated like they're crazy for it. This place is fucking insane.
Excerpt from here: businessinsider.com/pulled-ove

Music recc but only if you want!! 

My problem is that whenever a friend and I spend some time trading music, once the other person has enough or has to go, because I'm autistic it's really hard for me to switch gears, so I need to keep sharing for a bit.
If anyone is interested in an amazing cellist, this is my favorite cover from one of my favorite cello artists. I love Cremaine Booker so much I've even sat through his Christmas songs lmfao
youtu.be/1by9hb4ynMU

This one I could listen to over and over, it's spellbinding. ✨ Enjoy.

Human dignity is incompatible with hierarchical systems because in any system in which there are positions of superiority, people who seek to exploit others will work to ingratiate themselves within those positions of authority to avoid responsibility and consequences, and anyone who finds themselves in such a position will inevitably become aware of their immunity to such consequences.

Put more simply: those who desire power should by no means be allowed to have it, thus the solution to this problem isn't to give power to those who don't want it, but rather to do away with a social system that demands that such authority exists.

Don't mind me, doo-dee-doo, just burying some stuff on my timeline lol

Ignore my pathetic pity party 

Getting the MyChart app was the worst thing they could've done to me. I already know how bad I am. I've had doctors poking at me for years. A print out of my blood results, I can fold up, lose and not have to think about. But the MyChart app sends me alerts and so I'm compelled to look. And then I'm compelled to research because I want to understand what I'm looking at. 😬😩 My kidneys aren't filtering properly so of course my c02 levels are gonna be dummy low. I have an autoimmune disease, I know my neutrophil count is donko high. I don't need alerts for that and I really don't need to be having anxiety attacks over looking up what my Alanine Aminotransferase / SGPT score means. Please stop doing this to me. I can send messages directly to my doctor with this app and it's tempting to ask for potassium transfusions. If my body needs it so bad, I'mma go Kevorkian on this bitch. But he'll likely have to report me to the white coats for it. Lol

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Ignore my pathetic pity party 

Living in this body has been like trying to drive cross-country in an antiquated jalopy that breaks down every 20 miles.

If I eat meat, I get really sick and the pain becomes unbearable. If I don't eat meat, I get anemic and feel lightheaded all the time.
If I don't take my meds and supplements, I would never be able to function in any capacity, ever. But they're destroying my liver and kidney function. My gut lining is already fucked so I can't digest food- especially raw food- on my own. But the enzymes are prohibitively expensive. I've tried every diet under the sun, including AIP which is the strictest regimen available. My blood work is a mess, I'm eating as much potassium as I can possibly fit into a day and my levels are still low. I'm low on everything. My body just cannot fucking absorb nutrients and I genuinely do not know wtf to do for myself anymore. If I were a doctor, I'm not sure I would see me as a viable transplant recipient. Fml. 😰

Spirituality vs Leftism 

Me, later: "So that means we should just let the system win?"
My guides: "That's not what's being said."
Me: "Listen. I'm very not smart, so you're gonna have to explain it to me like I'm 4."
My guides:🤦
Me: 🤡
My guides: "Demons, like people, are not seperate from the spark of divine consciousness, though they perceive themselves to be."
Me: ??¿ Ok
My guides: 😒 "Nvm, go play video games."
Me: "YAAAAAYYYYY"

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Spirituality vs Leftism 

My guides: "Fighting the system in the ways you've been doesn't seem to be helping. Maybe once you see the system without the lens of fear, you'll better understand it's vulnerabilities. Maybe fighting creates resistance, and you know full well what you resist persists."

Me: 😱 "Holy shit, that's the psyop!! Our resistance makes it stronger!!!!"

My guides: ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

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Spirituality vs Leftism 

While meditating:

My ego: "Maybe the vaccine is at fault for the neurotic episode?"
Me: 😳
My guides: "As long as you're in that 'woe is me' victim mentality, you're not ready to own it and integrate the lesson. This is how karma is formed."
Me: 😭 kk👍🏻

Me: "Does the lesson have anything to do with MahaKali destroying all my attachments?"
My guides: "LOL no. Once you step away from fear-based energy, anything built from fear crumbles on it's own."
Me: 😰 "Wait, that's..."
My guides: "Is your leftism rooted in love of your fellow worker, or fear of being steamrolled by capitalism?"
Me: ".....Both??"
My guides: "We'll find out soon enough!"
Me: 😰😰

Later, my guides: "Why are you mourning the loss of fear from your energy field? Please know that isn't something you should want to keep around. It's attracting all the vibrations and experiences you say you don't want."
Me: I know, but what if, when the fear goes away, I no longer have any desire to fight the system?"

Transcript: How to Love and Care for Yourself More

1. Interrupt the denigrating, negative self talk.
2. Don’t beat yourself up when you get something wrong.
3. Give yourself credit for the ways you’ve changed and grown.
4. Say something good about yourself every day.
5. Refuse to fixate on the things that could go wrong.
6. Believe that you are worthy of unconditional love.

A note on this- you'll never receive unconditional love from others, nor should you. I recently went on a whole ass diatribe about how the concept of "conditional love" is demonized by folks who want to manipulate you into staying with them through abuse. Your love with others should be conditional, it's healthy. People deserve the right to say no, erect boundaries, and even drop you if you cannot treat them correctly. You also deserve the same right with them. The unconditional love needs to come from yourself, because that's the one person you cannot escape. You have no choice but to forgive yourself.

Have you ever had your guides call you out by putting a meme about you in your head? 🤡😩

Shitty zucc meme, direct eye contact 

"I receive: personal data"
"You receive: nothing"
😒 Fuck this hoe

Just had the Pfeizer covid vaccine yesterday and heads up, the next day there may be fatigue and soreness. Also, my appetite is almost non-existent, which is very weird for me. Sooo, consider yourself warned, I guess

One of my accounting clients dropped almost $150 on something called Boris Brejcha so I had to look it up to see what account to file it under and... 🤡🙄
It's shitty techno. 🤦🏻 There is no "accounting" for taste.
youtu.be/4Rc-NGWEHdU

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