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Update! This might be the most important post ever since it was written (today) the day after I started estrogen. write.as/20150509/2019-05-27

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Update! Big long update about a lot of things. Euphoria, dysphoria, dressing up fem. I had so much to say after such a weird, but great, weekend! write.as/20150509/2019-04-07

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My experience with being a girl was like this.

Imagine you're born wearing an invisible mask. You naturally assume everyone else is wearing a mask, too.

Every time someone tells you how to act or how to be you add some paint to the mask. The mask getting heavier each time.

Eventually, 2 weeks ago for me, the mask starts suffocating you. You start drowning. It's literally killing you. But you don't know it's the mask doing it because the mask was always there.

After breaking down completely, and still not being sure why, you take off the mask.
And then, the next moment, I was trans.

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Hi, I'm Zoey. I'm a trans girl. I figured this out around 2 weeks ago. My pronouns are she/her and nothing else.

But this isn't just an announcement post. Nope. You see you can also read about my transitioning in real time here. I was adviced to keep a gender diary and so I did.
If you care, and I don't blame you if you don't, you can read about how I'm tearing down my life and rebuilding myself.

write.as/20150509/

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Boost this to instantly become gay and gain 5 skill levels in Programming

Update! Chesticles, bazookas, boobs, titties. Except it's all crippling pain so far. write.as/20150509/2019-07-03

Lewd, selfies, ec, boosts++ 

Hey, I cut my hair and my mood immediately drastically improved but that also means I now need all the attention so please look at my images and favourite this toot. Thank you. I'm kitten.

Last pic is selfie attempts I didn't like.

Selfies eye contact

@2015_05_09 I boosted it some time ago and still have not mastered Assembly, Mother of all Tongues.
You have scammed me.

I love my life and I love my girlfriends. I didn't think my life could be this good, that I was doomed to feel like something was wrong with me forever.

1 boost = 1 HRT

Pic is 3 very gay hands holding eachother.

say it with me, don't be afraid:

all white people are racist!

until white people no longer benefit from white supremacy in any way, this will always be true. you're not special because you do that thing. if you did it expecting a cookie or a gold star, you're doing it wrong.

it's not good enough to just be "not racist", we need to be anti-racist! we have to dismantle the power structure that allows white supremacy to live.

-- a fellow white person

I love my life and I love my girlfriends. I didn't think my life could be this good, that I was doomed to feel like something was wrong with me forever.

1 boost = 1 HRT

Pic is 3 very gay hands holding eachother.

@2015_05_09 I’m reminded of Truffaut allegedly saying β€œthere is no such thing as an anti-war film,” and look how right the 21c. has already proven him

Re: cyberpunk
If you show something like a fascist society without explicitly showing that it's bad then it won't have the effect you want. If you show sexualized trans women ads in your game it doesn't matter if your intent is that "this is bad", people will not take it that way.

It will contribute more to sexualizing trans women in the end than it will in showing corporations are bad.

And the only way to avoid that is to... Not sexualize trans women.
There's no winning move in sexualizing trans women. Simply don't do it.

The most painful lesson of the 21st century will be that doing something ironically is still doing the thing, which means that things like Cyberpunk 2077 portraying a dystopia in this way will lead to real life transphobia whether you like it or not.
But most importantly for the whole world is that ironic nazi imagery, or letting ironic nazi imagery be posted on your platform, leads to nazism.
Hi, Twitter. Hi, YouTube.

By "explicitly showing that it's bad" I mean in an educational setting. Never present horrible fascist/sexist/transphobic propaganda in any capacity that's not providing proper context for how awful it is and absolute especially never provide it in what is otherwise meant to be an enjoyable experience.

Never ever.

@2015_05_09 Indeed. I have to wonder how much normalising of trans women there is in the game. (My bet: None). There would have to be a /shit ton/ to make that ad less problematic.

One problematic* instance does not decent representation make. Not by a long fucking way.

(*understatement of the year)

By "explicitly showing that it's bad" I mean in an educational setting. Never present horrible fascist/sexist/transphobic propaganda in any capacity that's not providing proper context for how awful it is and absolute especially never provide it in what is otherwise meant to be an enjoyable experience.

Never ever.

Re: cyberpunk
If you show something like a fascist society without explicitly showing that it's bad then it won't have the effect you want. If you show sexualized trans women ads in your game it doesn't matter if your intent is that "this is bad", people will not take it that way.

It will contribute more to sexualizing trans women in the end than it will in showing corporations are bad.

And the only way to avoid that is to... Not sexualize trans women.
There's no winning move in sexualizing trans women. Simply don't do it.

This is nothing new of course, the Nazis used this strategy the first time around.

But this time they access to infinite real time communication across the whole world and, because corporations are shit, a way to reach the most vulnerable without getting banned from spreading their bullshit propaganda.

For context: cyberpunk tried to save their asses with "it's a hypersexualized capitalist dystopia, *everybody* is sexualized" while having an in-game ad of a trans woman with a large penis on full display.

The most painful lesson of the 21st century will be that doing something ironically is still doing the thing, which means that things like Cyberpunk 2077 portraying a dystopia in this way will lead to real life transphobia whether you like it or not.
But most importantly for the whole world is that ironic nazi imagery, or letting ironic nazi imagery be posted on your platform, leads to nazism.
Hi, Twitter. Hi, YouTube.

I've figured out what trips me up about sharing music, and I think what trips up almost everyone else too.

It's realising that it's not the music you want to share, you want to share how you *feel* while listening to the music. The memories, the associations, the hours you've listened to and loved similar music.

You don't listen to music in isolation but when you share a song you're sharing it in isolation. This means others are very unlikely to appreciate it the same way you do.

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