Show newer

quantifying gender/sex/sexual attraction/etc is not only exclusionary but kind of misses the point

Show thread

That sexuality graph part 2 

Anybody can be anywhere on these spectrums, so a gay woman with a high libido might have very little sex. A sex worker may have a lot of sex but not be attracted to the people they have sex with, they might also have a low libido. And yes an asexual person could easily be having a lot of sex and have a high libido.

And the libido and action spectrums are the most changeable of the three, who you are attracted to can & does change but usually only from getting to know yourself and your attractions over time, libido can be affected by medication, illness, trauma etc, & obviously action requires consenting partners and all that.

So, a small fix for that graph would be to change asexual to hyposexual, the actual opposite of hypersexual, and adding an asexual-demisexual/grey ace-allosexual arrow.

But really it has so many other issues (non binary in the middle of male/female, kink being just BDSM and "sexual exploration") that it should probably be thrown out!

Show thread

That sexuality graph 

So this graph has been going around twitter and now mastodon (and even AVEN have RTd someone correcting the inclusion of asexuality) but I just wanted to write my own "why asexuality doesn't relate to libido" post! (there are also several other issues with the graph but this is very glaring)

This graph puts asexual on the Libido/Sexual drive spectrum, opposite to Hypersexual. This is incredibly wrong.

So, first of all, sexual attraction, sexual desire (libido) and sexual action are three separate spectrums.

Sexual attraction is who you are sexually attracted to - so for a bi person that could be people of any gender, a gay man is attracted to men etc

Sexual desire (libido) is how interested you are in having sex, regardless of who you are attracted to

Sexual action is how much you have sex, again regardless of who you are attracted to.

IKEA's hold music has ABBA every other track (I've so far heard Mamma Mia, Don't Stop Believin', Waterloo and now Radio Gaga)

Sex Explained (Netflix Documentary) 

I watched all 5 episodes of this yesterday, after hearing about it because Janelle Monáe did the narration and thinking that means it's probably going to be pretty inclusive.

And it was, they had lots of diverse people including an Asian-American dominatrix, a black expectant mother, gay people, mention of non binary people etc

There was a lot of cissexism in their discussion of biology and mechanics, but they did also talk about gay couples using surrogates and IVF etc.

But somehow in the episode about attraction, they completely forgot that asexuality is a thing? It starts from the premise that everyone experiences attraction and explains it from there, in a way that was inclusive of many sexualities except the ace spectrum which was disappointing.

And I didn't really learn anything I didn't already know but maybe younger people would and I'm not sure what age range it should be aimed at, it's an 18 on Netflix though so I guess adults only?

*Poll: What's your preferred #spelling?*

If the attached #poll doesn't include your preferred spelling of the word #okay, feel free to reply. :)

See parent post for related #xkcd comic:

#polls #linguistics #language #ok

Show thread

How do you spell it?

#nonbinary #trans #poll

Well I now have a new mattel doll for my collection (ordered the copper haired one cos it me!)

Pray for me, I'm updating Windows 10 after no updating since April 2018 due to issues with the October 2018 release that are apparently now fixed :blobnotlike:

Starting with a tiny step to work on something you’ve been avoiding will make it easier to tackle.

Billie Snailish and Snailey Kiyoko like to take showers! (the video ended abuptly because the one I put down out of shot decided to climb the hand soap so I had to rescue her, lol) (is that a hashtag? it should be!)

Billie Snailish and Snailey Kiyoko like to take showers! (the video ended abuptly because the one I put down out of shot decided to climb the hand soap so I had to rescue her, lol) (is that a hashtag? it should be!)

Show older
Serenity Laboratories

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!