Disorganized speech, thoughts, emotions; blunted affect, a lack of emotion, inappropriate emotional responses..
Did you know schizophrenia can even cause -hand tremors-? That's right, my hands shake 24/7, all day every day. I don't know if they shake in my sleep but I wouldn't be surprised
Schizophrenia can make you -not enjoy things-. Like, it fucks with your reward system. It can literally make you enjoy things you used to hate, or even make you enjoy things like pain
Schizophrenia also causes a lot of anger and agitation. Certain sounds: buzzing, pencils, markers, certain fabrics; can cause extreme anger and annoyance. Whenever I write with a pencil it hurts so much I literally have to cry. Remember, schools in the USA almost always require that tests be taken with a #2 pencil
Schizophrenia can fuck with your ability to socialize. Some days I'm smooth and fun, and then with some people or on other days I'm so awkward it hurts. It can fuck with your ability to make connections..
I take MDMA as a way to finally make those emotional connections and to break through that forced apathetic fog schizo leaves you in. It doesn't help with feeling disorganized and having trouble saying things (in fact sometimes it makes it harder because you're finally feeling the love you've been missing and you want to excitedly tell them everything about--
Oh right. Excitement. Schizophrenia is weird in that it makes you very apathetic all the time.. but then at certain points you will suddenly burst into excitement. Whether you started thinking about something you like, or are near someone you like, or particular vibes or visual moods (all depends on the person), you immediately need to gush and vent and move around..
If you haven't noticed, some of these symptoms overlap with the autism spectrum. The excitability, desire to do repetitive actions, the social awkwardness, talking about oneself, ticks and tremors, agitation; there's more similarities than you think
@violet I would Love to cross-ref this with My neurodivergence. Reading about things only gives so much of a picture of the condition.
I thought I had scizophrenia for a long time, and it turned out to be the Co-Morbid DID. Went from constant panic attacks and screaming breakdowns to being a Healer for a bunch of my friends who had it on the down-low in around a Year once I knew what was going on.
Went from a Dysfunctional family in here to a Loving one.
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