scared @violet@deadinsi.de

Hi! In my time since leaving the mental health facility I was in, I have been struggling to make ends meet. Thanks to help from a lot of you sweethearts here on the fedi, I've been able to get on my new medication (yay!) I have been trying to get a job, going to temp agencies, etc... But finding work as a low-functioning schizo girl just seems like an impossible wall I can't seem to climb no matter what I do. The Seroquel I'm taking is supposed to start taking effect 6 weeks after I started taking them, and then really settle in 3-6 months. I.. don't know how I'm going to make it that far. I can't pay for my car this month, which is my only way of getting to any work I might hopefully find.

If there's any way you can spare a small donation, it would mean the world to me; Every dollar brings me closer to sustaining myself long enough to be functional. Thank you.

https://paypal.me/viomi

Secure
https://telegram.me/viomi
Wire: viomi
XMPP: violet@voxcry.pt

Insecure
Discord: viomi#0666

ok now i smoke and sleep for real bye loves

Kind of wish I was cute instead of hot so I could have a partner who comforts and holds me and gives me that motherly presence I so crave

I have only ever held others during their breakdowns, I've never had the favor returned.. Perhaps seeming confident and capable can be bad sometimes. I want to be the small one for once, I want to not have to make decisions. Can I be little spoon this time..?

like nightmares, only, in the middle of your important presentation or while you're trying to get someone off

kinda want to start calling my schizophrenic breakdowns "daymares"

on that note, goodnight fedi. i am tired of this stream of consciousness and look forward to seeing all your posts during the next one.

in which case, come on I don't look -that- inedible

stop looking at me like a piece of meat

unless you're a vegetarian/vegan

So, Mistress likes to say mean things to me. Partially because she knows how much I fucking love it, I assume. Our dynamic is very 24/7; All of my dynamics with my partners are 24/7, tbh.

This leads to some.. problems, though. When Mistress says "Hurry the fuck up, jesus you're useless." to me in front of like, several of her friends, she gets stared at like she's crazy and abusive or people will make comments like "Oh my god! Molly, don't be mean!" and things like that

I've had to like. Step in and admit that I asked her to be mean to me a few times,, and then when people dig for more information I don't know what to do and I just look at Mistress helplessly and she laughs at me

me: "I just don't feel sexually satisfied lately."

My six partners, who all fuck me regularly: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

you: "omg sex is so good"

me: "okay but have you tried being tied up, blindfolded, gagged, deafened, and left under someone's desk for an entire literal weekend for them to slap, spit on, and drip hot wax on in between rounds of League?"

Why, when people express sexual frustration, is it often met with "Just masturbate"? Is masturbating honestly that good for some of you? Like, you touch yourself, you cum, and.. you feel like, actually satisfied?

After I touch myself I just feel annoyed that I'm not having an intense, emotional, connected experience with one of my darlings and wish I could have an actual orgasm..

Although to be fair sex isn't satisfactory to me either unless it's an intense kink session with power dynamics and usually a lot of behavior most people would call "abusive"...

haha, day crew will never get to see any of my lewds

get fukt

Are your knees sore yet? No? Looks like you'll be down there a lot longer then. Come on, arch your back. More. Is that the best you can do? Typical..