Swampy, the plant coochie whisperer @swamp@deadinsi.de

the only cw request that deserves to be made fun of is when a white person asks a poc to cw their experience with racism

current mood:

current mood:

@swamp i cannot stress this enough - they were clowns

*sexist comedian voice* what's the deal with 9/11?

@swamp Hell yes!!! Grow big and juicy!

tests are showing self-esteem levels at 100%

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you're reading that right - enlightenment levels are at 100%

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#mastomonday

Couple lessons kids:

NEVER. RIDE. DRUNK.

Dont do it.

*Driving* drunk is dangerous enough. Imagine what it's like without that steel body armor around you.

It aint pretty.

Also: if you're gonna go Ricky Bobby fast, WEAR A HELMET

I used to ride with a buddy of mine before he moved to the Silicon Valley. He told me he started wearing a helmet and i was like "lol you pussy lololol"

Not long after he's texting me from the hospital lucky to be alive. And he texts me a picture of a bloody helmet.

Wear your helmets, yeens.

@swamp for a split second i thought this was Marshall Applewhite 😂

"To love a swamp, however, is to love what is muted and marginal, what exists in the shadows, what shoulders its way out of mud and scurries along the damp edges of what is most commonly praised. And sometimes its invisibility is a blessing. Swamps and bogs are places of transition and wild growth, breeding grounds, experimental labs where organisms and ideas have the luxury of being out of the spotlight, where the imagination can mutate and mate, send tendrils into and out of the water."

@swamp
president pete 2040.