everyone in the taco bell commercials are so beautiful

also real strange realizing every terror from my childhood was in one way shape or form just a manifestation of trunchbull and Ms. Honey’s familial relationships

weird realizing like 90% of my vocal ticks are straight from matilda

extremely digging matilda ratting out the damn piggy cops

I like mad men because the men act cool and classy and I want to be like them anyway here are my extremely passionate opinions about five guys burgers

if i get cancelled then will you still call me superman

That's me with a paintbrush
That's me punching dry-wall
Losing my deposit

Learn
BIBLE
truths

says the missionaries sign...

Pitbull, at his new job with a travel agency:
What kind of accomodation do you prefer? Hotel, motel, holiday inn

if she’s your girlfriend why’d she put this bib on me

sorry Brad, I'm too cool to go to the dance with you, I'm headed to the mall to play heroclix

if i’d know JBGC we’re going to be a trans pride I actually would have gone

instagram πŸ‘ release πŸ‘ the πŸ‘ link πŸ‘ story πŸ‘ feature πŸ‘ to πŸ‘ everyone πŸ‘

when asked by the pope to demonstrate his artistic skill, giotto threw his ass in a perfect circle

On my bday next year, imma ride on a black horse with my titties out

about to call someone a dork... watch out

tbh George costanza had it right when he said you had to order 365 pair of underwear so you only do laundry once a year

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Serenity Laboratories