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i'm meeting a friend in the morning to get tamales and i'm fucking pumped


sending your boyfriend emails after he makes you cum three times

Tennessee boosted

the list of men i would wax my pussy for is a blank page


eat seven bowls of cereal, you cowards

i've got glorious news; My mother is not speaking to me

i desperately want a parasitic relationship with a local psychic


i ate so many donuts. donut gang.

own the means of whatever you want, give me my fucking teeth

the worst crimes of capitalism: i should own my teeth

they couldn't give me my teeth because they're considered medical waste once they're ripped out of your head and it's like i grew that, dude, it's mine.

listen i know nobody gives a shit but stamps are fixing to go up so if you need stamps, buy some stamps. i need stamps. i'm buying them.

remember when i was an hour into Sweeney Todd and I went, "okay so when does he get the scissor hands?"

i haven't watched mad men or house of cards but i think if i watched either they'd be the same show

is it white people dreads or is it depression

being a class traitor by watching fridge organizing videos on youtube

I cannot sleep, hey why did we let A Day to Remember exist?

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