Sorry, I’ve sort of retreated to the comfort zone of my established relationships on birdsite, and to regularly hitting my blog. It’s in inverse of what most people here feel, I think, but trying to forge new connections here is an anxiety I don’t get staying in my safe zone. Not abandoning Mastodon, or my deadinsi.de account; I just don’t have psychic space for it right now.
Jeffrey Epstein’s sophon
Everyone’s going to talk the eugenics and the penis-freezing but I can’t get past the launching a paranoid investigation after clearly having read a Chinese science-fiction novel.
I am beginning to feel like the next month or two I’m basically going to learn that half my body is rebelling against me, and I’m going to be dealing with it in a psychic void because I’ve spent a year trying to find a therapist under my insurance who knows adult autism. My anxiety about the future is building to a boil and I feel like there’s nothing I can do.
I hang my catheter bag in a small waste paper basket so it stays upright. At some point after last draining I apparently didn’t fully lock the drain and it’s been filling the basket. I learned this when I pulled bag out in the dark and piss went everywhere on my bedroom floor.
Good fucking morning.
Surgery was today
Today was #BixBladder day. All things considered went smoothly. They removed stones, took a couple biopsies, did *not* put a temporary stent in my left ureter. Catheter is in and I am managing so far (it comes out Friday).
I found it. I fucking found it. Outerscope 1, a segment on Vegetable Soup.
⚕️ My crumbling body ⚕️
For those keeping score this makes autism spectrum disorder, gastroesophageal reflux disease, hematuria, fatty liver disease, splenomegaly, gallbladder polyps, liver cyst, bladder calculi, diverticulitis, “probable posterior left lateral primary bladder transitional cell carcinoma malignancy”, “bilateral iliac chain, pelvic sidewall, and inguinal lymphadenopathy”, and now “decreased kidney function”.