venting in very unfair ways
i am sick of dealing with my own emotions, i’m sick of dealing with others’ emotions, i’m sick of being sick and of being in more pain on a daily basis than some people ever experience in their lives. i hate it. i hate not knowing whether or not i even have a hope of survival. there is genuine trauma to be found in uncertainty.
all i want is to be okay. or even to know whether or not i’ll be okay at all. i HATE this, so much.
i hate the fact that there is NOTHING i can fucking do.